How Are You Carrying The Weight?


It is inevitable. People are going to try to get under your skin or do things that disappoint you. The real question is, how do you deal with it? Do you process, do you react, do you hold it in? Better yet, what should you do?


Recognize Your Feelings And Make Peace With Them:

Once you get to the point where you can acknowledge any negative feelings and situations that you have been holding on to it doesn't mean that you're magically cured. Those feelings still may surface, and it is essential that when that happens, you can stay grounded and breathe through it all. When you focus on your breathe while standing in your truth, it will stop those negative feelings from overwhelming you.


Be In A Place Where You Can Talk It Out:

If the situation or feelings are a result of another person then talk through those feelings with that person. The key here is to emphasize your feelings instead of accusing the person of anything. Replace your "You" statements with "I" statements so that the recipient of your message is listening to understand versus listening to respond because they feel that they have to be on the defense.


Take Space:

If talking to that person isn't an option for whatever reason then I have found that taking space from the person may be the only option until both of you are in a mental space to discuss it.


There Is Beauty In Being Still:

Let's say none of the things we have talked about so far is an option for you well then the next step is to do the one thing that you have full control over and that is to be still. Process your feelings and breathe through the discomfort that they bring. When we stay grounded in our body, it allows us to take space. Otherwise, when we engage in adverse situations, or with negative people, we end up replaying a negative cycle that although may feel good in spurts but won't help the situation or the healing process in the long run.


Most Of The Time It Is Not About You:

One of the hardest things that I had to learn in my adult life is that people project. This lesson became crystal clear once I was out of an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist. Once, I was done being upset with myself for getting in the situation; I am now at a place where I have cultivated compassion for others. Realizing that when individuals are in pain, then their negative patterns, negative self-talk, and overall behavior can be released through harsh comments or action. Being able to deal with those people who may be hurting people because ultimately they themselves are hurting will help you be able to interact with that person more effectively through compassion.